Holding Out for Love

A comment from a reader named "Redlight" has made an important point about the distinct6ion I've e long made between loneliness and aloneness. Whern you stop trying to be with people because you "should" be with them--because, say, they're eligible, or have good credentials, you may find yourself alone for some time. But during that time, alone as you are, you find that the loneliness you experience is less painful than the kind of loneliness you felt in a supposedly good relationship that just happened not to be good for YOU.

When you then find someone on other terms, terms that might not be those that someone else would approve of but that came naturally to you,  the loneliness goes away as if by magic. It's called Going Out With Someone You Like. Now this might seem like an obvious course of action, but I find many young women --and older ones, too--who seem to have lost faith in their own judgment, or who have been told of certain criteria they should look for in a man. When they comne back to themselves during their time alone--as Redlight did--they remember what their real needs and wants are and hold out to get them.

--TLG

Comments

[Rori Raye]

You are so right. It's hard to find a man who measures up to our "shoulds" - anymore than WE can measure up to our own "shoulds."

Following what feels good and right to you is such a much better way to go about relating to a man, and it brings so much more good stuff to you.

Thanks for the post, Rori