Okay, my earthly darlings, you're dating again after years of not having sex--for whatever reason you were not having it. That's terrific! But you know, of course, that being a lover in your twenties is different from being a mature lover years later at 40, 50 or 60, not only for the obvious reasons--fewer possible desirable partners; fewer possible sexual partners--but because your body may not respond as quickly and automatically to sexual activity as it once did. So, if you've found someone you think you might want to sleep with in the very near future, better get a move on. You've got 11 days.
Beginning ASAP, you’ve got to go on an 11-day moisture-replenishing, hormone-nourishing program. This is essential for postmenopausal women, (and even premenopausal vaginal tissue can use moisture like, say, Replens, which is found in drugstores and health-food stores). If you’re postmenopausal, and if your gynecologist isn’t the cozy type and you’re not comfortable talking about this with him or her, let the Love Goddess do the cozy stuff for you right here. Here’s what you do:
1. Have your doctor prescribe a hormone cream (either Premarin or Estrace creams), as well as an estradiol tablet called Vagifem.
2. Use the cream at least three nights a week for the next 11 days, and Vagifem tablets on alternate nights. I am assured by excellent gynecologists that there is no systemic response to the hormones in the creams or tablets; that they moisturize and nourish just the surrounding tissue, which needs nourishment for the rigors and joys of renewed intercourse. (One of these three doctors suggests using the cream and the tablets nightly for 14 days.)
3. Either way — 11 or 14 days — once you’re having sex regularly again, you can simply adjust your regimen so that you use the cream when you’re having sex and Vagifem tablets twice a week. (Here, it will be a personal matter of how to keep up the good work.)
4. I suggest you also drink a lot of water, take flaxseed oil internally, and drink cranberry juice — not because these affect the vaginal tissue directly, but because they will aid in the overall hydration and lubrication of your entire system. You want to be moist, right?
5. One more thing: Make sure, after having vigorous sex the first time — in a long time — to urinate immediately afterward and to drink at least 16 ounces of water. This will protect your urinary tract, and prevent an infection that could quickly ruin your good time. P.S. And I like coconut oil as a sexual lubricant, although Astrogel is created for that purpose.
6. An alternate to this process is a neat, effective, pliable, estrogen-releasing ring inserted into the vaginal canal called the Estring. Like the creams and tablet, the estrogen works discretely; it doesn't move from the tissue into the system and is safe for women at risk for breast-cancer, and releases it over a three-month period. The Estring, like the estrogen creams and tablets I mention above, are obtained by prescription. Many women tell me it works wonderfully, that they feel lubricious again, and enjoy the advantage of never having to think about inserting creams each week.
Q: OK, Love Goddess, I now know how to get moist and ready for sexual activity, but one more thing concerns me greatly: The hair on my vagina, like the hair on my head, has faded. Some of it is even very faded — like, stark white. What can I do?
A: Ah, dear faded girls, you will be back to your old vibrant self, color-wise, within five minutes — after you get either Clairol’s "Men’s Choice" hair color, or "Betty Down There" hair color. Really. These shampoo-in products are inexpensive and perfect for your goddess spot, as well as for faded eyebrows. Many blondes who have searched endlessly for the right color have told me that “Men’s Choice” Natural Light Brown (M11) is ideal. To get Betty products, go to www.bettybeauty.com. Some of my wilder friends don’t bother trying to make their V-hair match the shade it once was: They go for Betty’s "Fun Pink." Why not?
Have fun!
-TLG
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